This is serious folks. Lots of grown men are getting left out of outdoor adventure. The reason? Their giant domes are getting in the way! Can a face mask fix that issue? We’ll get to that, but first let’s look at why these particular guys are missing out on the fun:
- Friends fear fishing injuries will occur when casting anywhere near a globe-sized head.
- Skiing groups can’t risk an avalanche by taking Big Head Ted on the slopes.
- And some of the guys can’t afford the 8 tubes of sunscreen it takes to protect their super-sized skull. And the other risk, we’ll get there…
While the situation does sound pretty dire, there’s hope for these fellas with colossal craniums. At Hoo-rag, we are making sure no one gets left out of outdoor activities – regardless of head size.
XL Sun Protection
Need proof? The sunscreen problem is over now that we have extra-large full-face bandanas. These XL Hoo-rags are made from the same awesome material as our originals but are approximately 19” long x 10.5” wide. Available in over 25 designs, they’re rated to 30 UPF (similar to SPF but for apparel).
So no more excuses gentlemen – hit the lake and cover up a bit. Your head will be grateful for the lightweight sun shield. Trust us, your future self doesn’t want to deal with sun damage from your youth.
Slope Safe
What kind of skittish friends do you have if they are terrified of your heavyweight head causing an avalanche? Maybe they’ve watched one too many foreign films detailing ski disasters. While we are not mountain stability experts, we just make insanely cool face masks, we feel the slopes are safe for big heads.
That doesn’t mean trying out tricks you saw on X Games your first time out there, Ted. Ease into it – just in case. You don’t want any trouble. We know you’ll get blamed for any mishap on a mountainside. If something does go wrong you can disguise yourself with your extra-large full-face bandana.
Fishing Face Mask
First off, the reports of emergency room visits by giant-headed fishermen have been greatly exaggerated. Rumors probably started by that average-headed Kevin VanDam. Now, if you’ve got a reckless fishing buddy slinging buzzbaits like a maniac, a treble hook to the face is possible. But most fishing tandems watch out for each other. Well, 86% of them – that’s not bad!
To ease your mind about asking your bucket-headed buddy along for some bass fishing, just make sure he’s highly visible. We have plenty of extra-large face gaiters that stand out so you don’t set a hook on a pal’s record-setting forehead.
Wrap Up
Have we done the big-headed population a great service with this article? Clearly.
Men all over the country will be headed, no pun intended, out for adventure with their crew. No stigma about herculean heads holding them back. It does our hearts good to know we did our part to get more fellas off the couch, hitting some lakes and trails, or just camping out with his people.
Oh, we can’t leave without mentioning that other risk. Many Big Head Teds have nearly been choked out with traditional gaiters and bandanas made for gen pop craniums. That problem has been eradicated too with our loose-fitting gaiter. You’ll finally feel modern comfort once you slide an extra-large Hoo-rag face mask on that gorgeous gigantic head of yours.
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